I Demand Public Nude Art!

I demand that citizens place said nude art on their front porches. If they do not have front porches, place the art in their front yards. It is critical that we do this here in Houston to help keep Robert Hurt of Kerrville from visiting our city.

"Nude women, sculptured women," he told the state Republican platform committee, which sat in rapt attention.

Of all the evils in Washington that the Texas GOP took aim at this week, removing art with naked people from public view was high on the list for Mr. Hurt, a delegate from Kerrville.

"You don't have nude art on your front porch," he explained. "You possibly don't have nude art in your living rooms. So why is it important to have that in the common places of Washington, D.C.?"

Mr. Hurt offered statistics: He'd heard that 20 percent of the art in the National Gallery of Art is of nudes.

He offered detail: On Arlington Memorial Bridge overlooking the famed national cemetery, "there are two Lady Godivas, two women on horses with no shirt on and long hair."

Actually, they are classical sculptures about war – one called Valor, depicting a male equestrian and a female with a shield, and Sacrifice, a female accompanying the rider Mars.

Clearly, this man is a menace. But if we, the citizens of Houston, band together and put as much nude art right on our porches--where it can be easily seen from the street--I think we can rest easy.