Here's an interesting little experiment.

Your instructions are as follows:

1. Take out your iPod (or Zune, I guess...really, who buys a Zune?)
2. Press shuffle songs.
3. Answer the following: a) How many songs before you come to one that would absolutely disqualify you from being President? b) What is that song?
4. Leave your answers.

This is from a blog called The DCeiver, care of Matthew Yglesias. I gave it a try. I don't know exactly how offensive any of my songs are, but #12, Vanessa from Queens by Stephen Malkmus, has the line "Bob Packwood wants to suck your toes." Would #63, "I'm Waiting for the Man" by the Velvet Underground raise eyebrows, being as it is explicitly about buying and using heroin? Or is it old and respected enough to be a "classic" and therefore immune from prurient tut-tutting. #67, "Memories Can't Wait" by Talking Heads is equally druggy. #78, "Gouge Away" by the Pixies mentions smoking marijuana. Really, that's about as offensive as it gets. So on that level, I guess there is little barring me from running for president.